I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
