the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
