never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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