you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
