Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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