the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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