FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
