She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
