I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize