HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize