My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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