at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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