yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
