Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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