Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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