i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
