I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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