apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
