you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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