are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
