How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
