I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
