would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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