we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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