having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
