Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize