I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger