Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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