saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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