I'm going to jail i love you
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
