just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
4 words: hood of his car
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
