whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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