Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
