Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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