hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You've changed since you got that strap on
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