i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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