Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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