So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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