I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
