your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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