Sry I called you an 8
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
