Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
