carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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