Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
