Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
