I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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