Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
