at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
