I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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