So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just gargled with NyQuil
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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