woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
