I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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