I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
