the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
