it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
