She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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