i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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