you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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