Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
