one might say we're banned from that church
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
