So drunk its hurt
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
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My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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