Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
