I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
