Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
